Freewriting: In her eyes [13/10/06] [07:44pm] [My Room]

Though how much I've grown,
for her,

nothing have changed...

Almost two decades have passed and

in her eyes

 my form had been put in a halt

A(n)

 Eternally Child

"Immortal Figure"

But,

however disturbed I am of that idea,

I could never say it in front of her face

"Because I was raised to be a model figure,

with great names and titles on my shoulder"

"I can't say such things"

So everyday

I give up my ego

 and try to push away all my discontent

              fake?

Just like "adults"

I follow with her childish farce

               truth?

Putting on my "innocent child" mask

I play my little role out of obligation

There is no happiness or joy,

rather,

I find displeasure which turn into unreasonable guilt

And, deep in my heart

I know

"If I leave things as it is

forever

nothing will ever change"

So I decided to leave

As such, maybe,

just maybe

I can give enough time for both of us

for me

and

for her

to grow and accept each other

as how we really are

And when that time comes

surely

Everything will work out fine